Forgiveness is Good, But Not Having to Forgive is Better: Response to Oasis

Oasis, a well-respected and well-liked commenter here posted a heartbreaking comment in the thread of the last post.  I have much to say about the things he/she shares with us, much more than appropriate for a mere comment.  Hence this article which includes my direct response to Oasis and also discusses in detail the philosophical reasons why neo-Calvinism, which is raging through the American church like an epidemic of Spanish flu, do not believe that abuse is real; why they do not concede that suffering of humanity ever, for any reason, is unwarranted, and thus deny that anyone can justly or reasonably claim to be a victim.

This outright denial of abuse and the legitimacy of claims thereof by its victims, in service to the “church” (the theo-marxist collective), is rooted in the  Reformed definition of the SELF of man…that is, how they define man metaphysically.  In short, they categorically despise human beings as individuals and declare that existence is the apogee of man’s “sin problem”.

The fact that you were born is the reason for your suffering…indeed, this is the root belief which under-girds their interpretation of abuse in the church.  Again, and in a nutshell, they basically deny it entirely.  There’s is no such thing.

Here’s why:

For one, the individual person, who is perennially and perpetually depraved, can only ever deserve suffering and torment, and that suffering is thus defined by the neo-Calvinist monster as JUSTICE…specifically, GOD’S justice, not abuse.  Similarly, because the human being is utterly depraved at the root metaphysic of SELF, abusive behavior is not a choice, but merely an extension of the evil which is human existence.  Therefore, an abuser cannot help his actions, because choice eludes him…for he is merely a “sinner saved (elected) by grace”; or, conversely, a sinner NOT saved (elected) by grace, which puts the “unsaved” (un-elected) child rapist abuser in the exact same moral category as the “unsaved” (un-elected) NON-rapist.  Good, and Sin and evil are purely a function of whether or not you win God’s arbitrary (and it MUST be arbitrary) election lottery, not a function of belief, choice, and action (the trifecta of human material existence…which they deny).  And so an abuser, saved or unsaved, cannot be “guilty” of sinning…or at least, not guilty in a way that demands justice, because he lacks choice.  And thus there is no moral culpability for his actions.  His morality is nothing more than a direct function his “election” status.

The point is that if they, that is, the church’s “authority”  think the fucking animal is “saved”, then he MUST be forgiven, even though his evil behavior may not change, because the sum and substance of his moral character is purely a function of his “election”, which remember, has nothing whatsoever to do with him actually being a good person or doing good things or making good choices….it is merely the arbitrary decision of a “sovereign” God.  Thus, because the abuser in the church is “good” by virtue of his “election” he cannot be judged for his sin, which Jesus came to wash away (which neo-Calvinist theology  makes nothing more than a euphemism for “excuse” and “ignore”, and this is entirely unforgivable) the abuser cannot be accused or “judged”.

And because the abused are at their metaphysical root evil incarnate (totally depraved), even if they are saved (because in Reformed theology man’s existential essence, his depravity, never changes)  they have no right to remonstrance or relief or justice; for there is no such thing as justice for those whose suffering can only result in a fuller understanding of just how fucking awful they are and how much God fucking hates their ever-loving guts.  Therefore, their suffering, which is ultimately at the hands of a “sovereign God”, because He is ultimately in control of all things, is always “good”, and never bad.  Which means that the vehicle by which that suffering is manifest can never be criticized or denounced as immoral, even if it happens to be in the form of child-rapist.  The vehicle for human suffering in whatever form it may take is merely God’s chosen means of destroying the SELF in service to His “truth”, which you will notice is always a direct function of some fucking collective.  In this case, the church.  (But it just as easily can be the “State”, or whatever.)  The abused must shut the hell up and accept the abuse, for to do otherwise constitutes an unjust attack upon God’s chosen earthly vessel for His “will”, and “truth”, and, most importantly, “authority”:  the Church.  Which owns you, because it is God to you, and thus will do with you what it wants, and you must remember that you are not you anyway, and so YOU have no moral grounds to resist the violation of your body, mind, or property.

Here is what Oasis wrote:

This abuser is someone who abused me when I was very young, and by the time I was ready to report him, the statute of limitations was on his side. There is nothing I can do now except warn others about him. One of the problems is, everyone who knows what he did is convinced that he’s no longer a danger. That is, everyone except me.

The things you describe in your numbered list are EXACTLY what is going on right now, storeinacooldryplace. But the abuser is not a member of the church (neither am I, anymore), which is an SBC church…nor is he even a professing Christian anymore. Not sure what the church has become on the inside. I am really confused about this whole thing and having a hard time concentrating.

Thank you for what you said, storeinacooldryplace. Sorry to be vague, but I still fear that when I speak, either people will not believe me, or they will not take me seriously. Which is what keeps happening.

By the way, I am with you about church, Lydia. If I ever step a foot inside another church building, my foot will burn right off.

Here is my response:


I agree completely with SCDP; and I echo Jason’s sentiments in his last comment.

And I also understand your desire to be vague. I don’t think you or anyone else would be surprised to know that those who take our concerns and our doctrinal challenges seriously are pretty much restricted to the faceless names we see on these blogs; the number of “Christians” I’ve run into in person who don’t think I’m full of shit I could count on the hand of the guy who had an accident with a lawnmower. That is the measure of the difficulty we face in confronting the deathly irrational assumptions which literally form the very foundation of the church. And the scary part is that when you confront people who lack a definition of humanity except “depravity’, you can never be completely sure that they will respect the sanctity of your person and property. Once humanity has be relegated by the operative philosophy to a place of blind worthlessness which must be compelled by force because it has no inherent line to truth…well, we are all expendable. Death is our greatest moral good, so…even the least imaginative among us can guess what happens to people when they fuck with those whose job (from God) it is to make sure you do what your told.

It took me three years before I would share my real name online because of the great evil I understood that an entity like Sovereign Grace Ministries can inflict upon its detractors. And will, and has, and does. They are no respecter of God’s children…and that is a scary thing indeed. For you are not crazy. Evil is terrifying because evil seeks only one thing: the death of men. All evil is rooted in the notion that SELF (the existential root of all people and God) is a lie. And you certainly understand how notice this notion forms the root of Calvinism and Protestantism in general..

But understand, when you rightly acknowledge your inherent moral worth and the categorical legitimacy of your SELF as God’s creation, entitled to moral and existential equivalency with both God (as His child) and man then you will be surprised at the floodgates of blessings you are entitled to and will receive when you ask God for them from this perspective. God WANTS you to be YOU, and YOU is supposed to be fun, and comfortable, and joyous; a life of pursuing SELF as GOOD, which means never apologizing or feeling guilty for pursuing your pleasures, your interests, without acquiescing to the lie that the collective (be it the state or the church or the authority-in-the-stead) has some inherent “god-given” right to be the benefactor of all your choices (I have an article on this very topic in the hopper as we speak.)

You don’t need to worry that pursuing SELF (which you MUST do anyway, when you logically examine the metaphysics) constitutes some kind of destructive or anti-other behavior. For when you function from the idea that man is GOOD, then you will automatically understand that pursuing your SELF in the interest of your life cannot constitute the violation of another human being. Indeed, it is the very fact that you understand and confess that your life is GOOD which is the source of your acceptance of the root good of others, and why they, like you, are legitimate SELVES, and entitled to unfettered pursuit of those SELVES.

Your life was meant to be a gift…and that has never changed. YOU are supposed to be YOU, forever, and being YOU should FEEL like a gift from God…a blessing. And when you acknowledge the perfect goodness of YOU AS YOU, as God has always intended, and has proclaimed in both the law and then again, definitively, in the human God, Jesus, then you understand that confronting abuse and restraining its perpetrators trumps forgiveness every time.

Forgiveness is good, but never having to forgive is even better. For when there is no violation of humanity, then there is no need for forgiveness.

10 thoughts on “Forgiveness is Good, But Not Having to Forgive is Better: Response to Oasis

  1. Mar 12:31

    And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.

    love thyself?hmmm lol

  2. Gricketson,

    Right. For some reason the idea of loving thyself is an anathema to the church. Even though as you rightly point out the second great commandant hardly makes sense without it

    Do we think Jesus loves Himself? Yes? Then we should love ourselves. Jesus was a person.

  3. “Forgiveness is good, but never having to forgive is even better. For when there is no violation of humanity, then there is no need for forgiveness.”

    Love this. Takes the focus off the victim and on to the one doing the violating. The guilty party. Going to steal it.

    “Forgiveness” has become a weapon to use to excuse so much evil. And it is sold as piousness when it does nothing of the sort but enable more evil. In fact, when there is this demand for instant forgiveness it actually hurts the guilty party by keeping them from going though the process of changing if it is possible. For situations where that is not possible (sociopathic, narcissism) then instant forgiveness is guaranteed to make sure other innocents are abused.

    Amazing how folks can take a proof text and apply it to hurt so many people and protect charlatans..

    As to not using real name, Oasis is wise to protect her/himself. There are people out there who would love to further rip me apart. Some from my own family who are prepared to defend the system they helped build to my death. All to glorify God, of course. (snark)

    Before one goes public, I would recommend a trustworthy support system around you. And we all know how hard that is to find.

    Recently someone told me that you can heal from gunshot wounds when you lay in front of the snipers. That is a good reason right there to stay anonymous. There are still snipers out there.

  4. Lydia,

    Yes, forgiveness is an entirely irrelevant concept in the face of ongoing abuse. Forgiveness, like every other concept, should SERVE LIFE….and how is that possible when it is in the hands of a theology which bulwarks and encourages violators and their destructive actions by savaging the metaphysical roots of humanity?

    The abuse must be addressed first, before forgiveness, which is a purely reconciliatory act, can make any sense at all. Like I said, in reformed theology forgiveness is a euphemism for the “EXCUSE” of sin. And they will answer to God for that evil deception.

    Our job as lovers of humanity is to mitigate the need for acts of forgiveness by halting the atrocities in the first place. We do this by challenging the evil ideas and death- worshipping doctrine and by openly confronting and exposing abuse and abusers. This is the first and greatest moral action, not forgiveness, which only exists because men CHOOSE evil over good. We should remember, forgiveness doesn’t CAUSE good; better ideas and confronting abuse does.

    Oasis did the righteous thing. He/she should be applauded.

  5. Wow, Argo…thanks for your response!

    I am a she…and Lydia reminds me, another reason why I hesitate to say much on blogs is to avoid being recognized by anyone from what I say.

    Argo, yes, I personally find that when speaking with other Christians, if the topic veers off into certain areas…basically, it becomes difficult for me to even get along with them, if we are being real and going places. Because now that I have started over almost completely from scratch, having been introduced to new ways of thinking and freed from so many chains…still finding my way, but there is not much common ground/harmony. Any average Christian seems to “belong” to a completely different and foreign religion. Kind of sad, and a strange feeling, but would not trade the exciting liberation… 🙂

    “All evil is rooted in the notion that SELF (the existential root of all people and God) is a lie.”

    One of many things that really stood out to me, and suddenly all of these connections were made. Sad, scary, shocking…

    I’m sick from stress and stunned that I could put together even these words…but thanks for the support and your thoughts, everyone… It all means a lot, will be mulling over all of this…

  6. “The abuse must be addressed first, before forgiveness, which is a purely reconciliatory act, can make any sense at all. Like I said, in reformed theology forgiveness is a euphemism for the “EXCUSE” of sin. And they will answer to God for that evil deception.”

    Yes. It is an evil deception. while our justice system is certainly flawed it operates on the principle of investigation of possible guilt. it is more “God like” than our churches. In so many churches “guilt” does not matter (unless you are guilty of questioning the pastor) for horrible sin toward others.

    It is moral chaos.

    And there is nothing wrong from protecting yourself against those you KNOW would harm you because of their dark secrets . That is why anonymity is imperative for so many. When they have the power and are believed by many they can say anything they want about you. I have seen more than one person ruined financially because they dared speak out. They can even ruin your business.

    People don’t want to believe the evil because it means they are responsible to do something.

  7. Lydia,

    Yes. They are morally responsible.

    Of course, the very notion that man can EVER be in a place of moral responsibility is an anathema to their “sound” doctrine. I submit that that is the seed of their constantly turning blind eye.

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