Proceeding from where we left off in the last post, let us examine rule number two with respect to the assumptions and consequential behavior of the narcissist, as I have come to see it:

The second rule of narcissism is that it is perhaps philosophically (that is, clinically described as) a form of masochism, but the practical application of it to others resembles more of sadism; though, again, there is not the abject hatred of humanity and the requisite pleasure derived from their suffering.  Nevertheless, it must be conceded that the behavior of the narcissist towards his fellow man is catastrophically destructive, ruining the lives of his fellow human beings with a remorseless violence–be it emotional or physical or both–and there is an almost vampire-like lust for their routine sacrifice to his appetites. Children of narcissists may (and often do, I believe) become victims of severe psychological disorders, such as panic/anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, narcissism dependency, or even become narcissists themselves.

Narcissists have capricious temperaments, and can react differently to the same situation or words/behavior of his fellow man, without reason.  One never knows how a narcissist will react in any given situation.  This uncertainly renders his victims skittish to the point of dysfunction if exposed for too long; and his vicious temper when confronted with what he perceives as an insult or a denial of his omnipotent perfection can render his victims emotionally broken for years to come, and maybe for the rest of their lives.

He may be labeled as a masochist, but I submit that if he is no friend to himself, the narcissist is even less of a friend to his fellow man.  And for that reason, I do not concede he is purely a masochist.  He may not take direct pleasure in the pain of others, but the fact that their exploitation results in his pleasure (and exploitation is indeed what it is, whether he understands this or not) in the form of narcissistic supply means that there is a dark streak of sadism running through his personality.  Indeed, it is this tendency to annihilate his victims with a stoic, emotionless savaging of their autonomous selves which thus groups the narcissist in with other severe psychological pathologies such as psychopathy/sociopathy and Borderline Personality Disorder.  Narcissism is self-hatred which translates into a blanket punishing of humanity by routinely engaging in behavior which denies and destroys it.

What this means is that engaging the narcissist is extremely hazardous to your health.  His inability to see other human beings as actually human leads to all manner of human destruction.  He has no compunction about damaging or destroying anyone whom he deems “broken” or unable to perform their “jobs” for the narcissist.  And your job is, of course, solely defined by the narcissist.  You obviously have no say.  He possesses no capacity for apprehending individual human contexts, personality nuances, or belief systems of other people; and as such these aspects of people’s humanity are entirely ignored by the narcissist.  He has no objective beyond self-preservation through the slaking of his insatiable appetite for narcissistic supply…a full slaking of course ever eluding him.  Indeed, it is my opinion based on my reading that his need for narcissistic supply is the only real barrier between narcissism and full-on psychopathy.

But again, it isn’t that the narcissist hates people.  His hatred is reserved purely for himself…which is why they are I think considered more masochistic than sadistic.  No, the narcissist cannot hate people or take direct pleasure in their pain precisely because, as I have explained, they do not acknowledge the existence of other people.  And though we may be tempted to consider the narcissist more…hmm, “desirable” than the psychopath; less dangerous perhaps (which he is to society at large in a sense, which he disregards as non-existent and irrelevant unless he is actively engaged with it) or more “stable”, we must remember that to deny another person their humanity–and by extension, their natural human rights (life, liberty, autonomy, property)–represents the zenith of human destruction.  It targets man at the place sure to do the most damage:  his very SELF.  To deny a person the right to claim his or her very material existence–their very essence and being–as actual and as their own is the single greatest act of immorality which can be perpetrated upon man, I submit.  It completely eradicates man at his source, the SELF, and everything that follows which is a product of their lives.  Further, when human beings are deemed non-existent then not only are they denied the knowledge of themselves, who are TRUTH in the only way rationally definable, they are denied knowledge of and access to God, Himself, by definition, who is man’s Creator, and as such is the single greatest affirm-er of individual human life in the entire universe.  But the narcissist says no.  The narcissist declares God the Creator of nothing.

If one were to ask me if I thought the devil himself were a psychopath or narcissist, I would deem him a narcissist.  The psychopath takes pleasure in hurting humans, and will taunt them by saying that not even God can help them once they become his target.  The narcissist will say that there are no other humans to hurt, and that there is NO God to help them, regardless of whether they are his “target” or not.  And no matter how many times they may say God and you exist, your narcissist does not actually believe it.  Not in the sense that he concedes they are autonomous entities in their own right.  They are forms of narcissistic supply, existing to satisfy his craving, nothing more.  God is treated with no greater deference than you are.

This sounds more like the devil to me than a psychopath.

If I am making narcissism out to be more appalling than you ever thought, good.  Narcissism is the scythe put to humanity.  And once you have come face to face with a real, actual, clinically defined Narcissistic Personality Disorder…well, trust me, the horror of that experience is not easily shaken, if it ever is.  To be stripped of your humanity in either a violent or a coldly indifferent instant, and thought of and looked at as literally nothing more than a jockstrap to hold someone’s sad little balls up…well, it’s frankly disturbing.

I submit that Calvinism is little more than narcissism in mystic guise, which is why when you hear of abuse in the neo-Calvinist church, it is so fucking horrific, and yet simultaneously played down or denied as not really such a big deal after all.  “God” is always bigger than the circumstance, of course (they won’t even deign to call it abuse most of the time) and has great plans which will come of it…but never for the victim you will notice.  No, the victims are merely the “vessels of wrath”; cosmic bed pans for the divinely called priests/pastors-in-the-stead to defecate in as an expression of God’s divine determinism.  God’s all-determining will, which is the vehicle for the abuse of course, renders the narcissistic church not only perfectly morally innocent of any consequences of the abuse, but the recipient of what will surely come to a blessing for the church because of it.  Because the church, in lock-step keeping with the assumptions of the narcissistic personality, can only ever do “God’s will”.  Which is to say, they can never do wrong, no matter how wrong it might look to you or I.

In Calvinism, just as is the clinical description of the narcissist, there is no YOU.  Only they exist.  Even God is merely an illusion.  The real deity is the pastor/priest…for their theology can make absolutely no metaphysical distinction.  There is no difference between God and His men “called”, somehow, to enlighten the masses to His absolute “truth”.

Stay tuned for part four.